I was minding my business this early morning*a rare occasion (waking up early morning + minding my own business) when I saw two Lebanese ladies (can also be referred to as snobs) smoking and I so wanted to approach them and say please get cancer on your own stop feeling generous by serving it to me. But, if I did their first response would be:

Where is the NO smoking sign?

This needs to be changed people. We have to reverse this psychology that is imprinted in the back of our minds in order to win this war against tobacco companies (Damn! I just sounded like George Bush right there) People should be asking: where is the smoking area sign?Where can I smoke?

The norm should be banned smoking everywhere unless allowed where signs are placed, not the other way round! quick spread to ten people that you love and care about, else the Lebanese ladies would steel (your husband or wife ) for good and teach them how to smoke.

guys meet بريهو

figure (1-1): as noted there are three layers.. little بريهو alot of yellow uknown juice that comes out of the بريهو located at the bottom.

I know that you are trying so hard now to pronounce the word helplessly not to worry; I shall guide you (brai-umm that word the use in rap so much to degrade women) hehe… right! moving on…

Brief history

Briaho is an ancient seed, so old that along with cockroaches it is the only living organism that has survived whatever ended the Jurassic era.

Biological structure

it is a seed for crying out loud, but the thing that makes it special as special as jack’s magical beans

figure (1-2) shows how parents with no taste can go wrong with their kids clothes..

In fact, my grandma, who is a mother of two doctors, does not believe in modern medicine still says that jack’s beans are normal compared to the wondersبريهو. Braiho is usually served with hot water. Once added; water reacts with the seed to produce this viscous, slippery slimy shell around the seed.

Medical use

Cough, cold, fever, heart problems, skin cancer, broken bones.. na I am just kidding my grandma prescribes it to me only when I get cough.

Types of بريهو

The ones that I know of are the regular one, and the white one (for tougher patients), my grandmother refused that I get a picture of the white one for security reasons.. However no one lived to tell the tail of the red بريهو <–named throughout history “elixir”. (how do you know that it is red then Raed? you so suck! are you the type of person who goes to the Movies to find a hole in the script!, IT CAME TO ME IN A DREAM… happy now sherlock? )

Characteristics:

does not expire.
Name origin is unknown.
Does not decompose if mixed with water.
Has a funny smell.
Has a funny taste.
Has a funny shape.
Works almost instantly. *white type.

Did it help me?

Yes, after many years and never getting used to the taste, smell, or the looks of it.. I am very careful when it comes to my health and if I ever start coughing, I never cough loud enough for my grand mother to yell : We have someone coughing in the house.. bring out بريهو

Hope yall like it…

Closet

Suddenly, and maybe I was taking a nap, every single soul within 11000 Km^2 has become interested in soccer and not just any league; The Spanish League (or La liga) okay them people know all about soccer and it is fun to watch sometimes.. But here are few cases of extremism where I go FUDGING STOP:

Buying everyone a treat because Barcelona Fudging won I say buddy “ Fudging get a reality check and smell the coffee! You are a middle eastern and your mother ain’t Spanish so easy now!”

People changing their nicks on MSN and going ballistic at each other because of a league in a country they have never been to, where people speak a language those so called oversees fans are unaware of.. (should you raise your eyebrow at this, going so what? It means you are one of the OFF (Oversees Football Fans) Fudging get out of my blog A$$hole… I ran away from people like you..

Does it get better raed? You betcha : Arguing and analyzing every single game up to the point where the frequency and the pitch of the BiT^#es voices get so high I have to step in and redo the reality check (an art of it’s own ).. I usually start with: Abdullah My friend I have graduated with a B.S (bull shit) in Engineering.. and you? Oh so you did not major in football.. he cuts me off and I cut him off saying : and when was the last time you exercised ? Am sorry Abdullah throwing cards while playing baloot is not considered working out your biceps!
Aljazeera sport, al jazeera 1, aljazeera 2, al jazeera 173*2673 = God knows what the heck? I am not sure that Spanish people are as fanatic as our middle eastern fans have become.

Conclusion : this phase of denial and refusal to accept that the local league sucks should change as soon as possible as I can only and sadly agree with the author of this

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0805211187/102-8290792-7124135?v=glance&n=283155&v=glance

we do have an identity problem and a deep one too!

?الله يقطعكم حتى في الكورة مو فالحين

- what is time?
- Is there any form of extraterrestrial life? (Not that it would change my life but I would just like to know) and NO warms on Mars do not count! So spare me NASA freaks.
- How many Arabic cable channels are out there?
- How many Arabic video clips are broadcasted daily?
- How do royal families eat or like any presidential family? does Bush go : Laura Pass the mashed potatoes please? And on Bad days does she go : Don’t you be telling the FIRST LADY to be passing you potatoes Mo*&er Fudger! * Queen latifah is more like it.
- Umm.. Exactly what in the name of God is the American army doing in Iraq?
- Does the amount of money being traded Globally exist? And if not then how is it any different than a Casino? is the world economy run by the mob then?
- WHY do I blog?
- Does anyone read my blog?
- Will there be a day when I fill in my 60 Gig Ipod?
- Will Apple be kind enough to give away an Ipod case the next time I buy one?
- Which means more to Bill, Windows or it’s illegal functions?
- How is it so that bird Flu is spreading now not a decade ago for instance!
- Is there a woman out there, whose yes is actually a yes and whose no is a no?