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Every now and then, I run across people from faraway lands, who are a bit inquisitive. They mean no harm at all, and bless’em their just curious. And there is nothing wrong with that! Except for some questions…such as the ones I have written down, and I didn’t come up with any, all of these are real questions asked by real people and yes those of you who know me, can guarantee that the answers were real too! So here goes:

1-      You must have had alcohol while being in the states, right?

Answer: Yeah and I used to sell drugs and I also had a thing for what’s her name? Look how about you and me in a fine Italian restaurant, say the Ritz? We can do more of that socializing?  Don’t forget the Roses sweetie!

2-      How did you meet your wife?

Answer: We were both auditioning for “so you think you can dance” look as boring as this may sound to you it was just as any Abdullah gets to be introduced to any Aisha out there.

3-      You do know why Allah has prohibited pork don’t you?

Answer:  unless you are a fridge salesperson please stop telling me about the fact that it’s because of Germs and bacteria. Unlike you I never had a divine revelation so I don’t second guess God’s commandment I just follow and get the reward. Much like Boss employee thing, How come you don’t second guess that Monthly report?

4-      Are all Qataris like you?

Answer: yes, and they are all of about the same height and incidentally their names are Raed too!

5-      Why Japanese of all languages?

Answer: I thought it was Chinese!

6-      You must work out right? While nearly holding a measuring tape to size my muscle.

Answer: No, I prayed and cried so hard at the altar and hallelujah!   

7-      Wait… You guys, i.e. Muslims, have alters?

Answer: Can you please wait for a minute until I find something to hit you with?

8-      How many wives does your father have?

Answer:  Oh my… We did a census last year but that’s out of date. Let me make a note of this: Must count my dads’ wives sometime soon!

9-      Don’t you think women should drive in Saudi Arabia?

Answer:  Please look at me, look at me carefully I am a young healthy QATARI MALE.. MALE DAMN it. How come everyone is asked about this except for Saudi women?  

10-   What do you do when you are in Mecca?

Answer: Celebrate good times, come on! It’s a celebration.. (by Kool & the Gang)

I really enjoy these questions, so keep’em coming people.