I HATE heelys. How is that for an intro? I think we as human beings are ought to be slaughtered by another species that takes over this planet like penguins or any other living organism that can do better with the amount of knowledge that we have reached. Why? You might ask; have we done extensive irreparable damage to the planet? No not at all. It’s heelys; the sole reason we should give this planet up.

Some of you might go : come on now it ain’t that bad? Well it is this bad! All the years of science, all the technology that got us to where we at, All the physics that we have learned, the unbelievable amount of efforts that got us to this wonderful indecomposable thing called plastic so that it can be utilized by a confused kid who isn’t capable of making an insignificant decision that has no cosmic consequence of going out in rollers or regular shoes!

I would hate for a nest to be disturbed because of this useless invention, mind you a forest (plastic processing generates heat, heat contributes to green house effect in a chemical reaction best described

و العروس تبي الفلوس

 و الفلوس عند العريس

  و العريس يبي حشيش عشان ينسى المصاريف

How cute  can these kids be as you see them running all of a sudden like they saw a pedophile on the loose or something and hey! I am old school I see someone running I just start running then stop couple of hundred meters away to ask what’s going on man?

But these little (source of feces= hey I ain’t rude enough to write down a$$holes on my site, this is a respectable blog man) run then start rolling like dorks and get back to walking again. How much time was saved for the love of logic? Just how much of a distance was covered in this journey from run to roll to walk Oh little fudge packer?

Furthermore, those who were heelys are always feeding off those who are walking next to them in regular shoes. You never see them in groups, it is always an (ooh screw it … asshole) rolling for a while before they go back to their group. Verily I warn you, we are responsible for creating the world’s most indecisive bastards and years when someone bombs a country to the ground and goes Ops! Don’t you blame religion, civilization or anything other than the fact that we made them that spoiled with Heelys (that was farfetched I admit but heck it can happen)

Personally I started doing the following when I see them pass by; I urge all of you to do the same:

Push them as hard as you can that way they would not know whether to fall rolling or stumbling.

I being well mannered then kneel and ask if they are in pain going:

There… there little one, now you shouldn’t cry for you also had the choice of how to fall!