The following are weird responses, strange and funny ones to the #qtelfail Hash tag. It has marked the first civil movement, in the frame of effective citizenship to address consumer rights. It has no hidden agendas to my knowledge, I speak of my own when I say I am after nothing other than getting a service and quality in line of what I am paying for. Stop being Arabic BCC about it (in reference to the copy paste with lots of additions and words shoved in my mouth and bearing my name Arabic BBC team has made from Financial Time’s article where I was quoted)  So here goes and enjoy:

10- You’ll be locked up!

Very classic response to anything that people are not used to; in fact, there was a time when people claimed that if you had your hair cut in one way that you would be locked away with your mother crying the loss of her foolish child! Look, we are really blessed to be in this Country, where responsible freedom of speech is granted.   

9- You’re just after fame.

Yes, I am an attention WHO** , I am Lady Gaga of the telecom, I am ليلى علوي  and تامر حسني  I am حسني مبارك  anything that would satisfy that part of your silly brain where this silly thought sparked first, and you just could not stop to think: maybe I am an achiever, and yes I will be famous – Insha’Allah – but I would be for my own achievements not because of others shortcomings.

Sincerely,

RaRa Ohlala why don’t you love me?  

8- You’ve ended your career.

The person who has said this has gone as far as setting a deadline.. He looked at me carefully, starred at my nose for a while then was like: yup, 2 more years that’s all you have!

My response: If what you say is true, then I would still choose to lose my job within 2 years’ time rather than lose my respect to how I was raised, to what I stand for,  and to who I am  for the rest of my life. Luckily, the chairman of where I work is the one who is promoting effective citizenship. (Japanese mode: ON  … LUCKYYYYYYYYY)

6- You’ll be deported.

This is what I call wiki accumulated, amplified knowledge. It is .. I will shut up, but before I do. Again, we are not living in Libya our leadership and government are reasonable please live up to their standards, not to your fears.

5- You ungrateful bastard! Look at your brethren elsewhere!

“How dare you? Open this tap, open this tap I say.” He yelled.

“Geez I would, I would. Please don’t shoot me” I did open the tap, and he goes: WHAT DO YOU SEE?

Err… Water?

EXACTLY, water! Think of your brethren in Somalia and here you are talking about slow internet?

I closed the water tap and said the following: Sir… Fudge you! You are brain is so convoluted! It’s like a spider’s web dark, haunted and scary. How the hell are you wired up? I sympathize, and will go out of my ways to help my brethren, does it mean that I cease to live, that I should stop dreaming? That I should refute any will inside of me to improve? And for the record, next time you pull this on someone don’t make’em use hot water. A$$hole.   

4 – There are worse companies you know? Like insurance companies.

  I do not crash into objects everyday… wait that’s not true. Look, I use Qtel more often so, they are in my face round the clock. GET IT?  

3 – Stop exaggerating.

When was the last time you have paid your bill?

Daddy’s girl: Daddy pays it.

Me: When was the last time you have downloaded a huge file off the internet?

Daddy’s girl: I downloaded a song in 3 minutes time.

Me… …..

Daddy’s girl: Why are you quiet?  

Daddy’s girl: this is rude you know? TALK!

Me: I was silent for only 2 minutes, so 2 minutes is a long time after all? Plus the internet has larger entertainments/ knowledge to offer.   

2 – Great Qtel is so in tears because of the un witnessed financial damage.

Here:  and I poked him with a needle.

Hairy guy: WTF! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?

Me: that did not kill you now! Why are you flinching?  Here let me poke you again.

Hairy guy: STOP IT!

Me: must I explain everything physically people for you to get it? Hairy scary guy Qtel is acting just as you would. Needle pokes are short lived but painful, but the memory of the pain is ever lasting. That’s why we have boycotted Qtel, with the hope that they do not suffer from ADD.   

1 – It’s a conspiracy fool, and you have fallen for it.

 Now, that just made me fall out of my chair. I stood up again and asked: My, would you care to explain?

Serious guy: by all means, you see this has been a drill by secret service to measure the aptitude of young Qataris and their willingness to participate in revolutionary acts. You have to admit, you have been outplayed, outsmarted and game is over. They have got what they wanted.

Me: eyes wide open. HEY HEY…

Serious guy: what?

Me: What the *#*# are you on? What pills have you been popping lately? This drill of yours includes ruining bad network coverage, unheard of fees, and treating us like slaves instead of customers for years?  I have to say this is quiet an experiment and the scale? On a national level too!

Serious guy: it’s ok Raed. Calm down now, I do not blame you.

Me: I hereby announce you as the mayor of ConspiracyVille! You have to make money out of this imagination please. I will buy you a ticket, I will sponsor you and together we can have the sequel to “12 monkeys” I know what we will call it : 12 monkey + 1 ß you’re the special one.

p.s: the truth about point 7

IT HAS BEEN DELETED … IT’S A CONSPIRACY! 😀